WHAT’S OUR SECRET?
As I sit here reflecting on 29 incredible years spent with my Boo, my heart overflows with gratitude. So many of you have asked me how we’ve managed to keep our love not just alive but thriving through all these years. I want to share this deeply personal part of my life with you because, just like the lessons I’ve learned from my near-death experience, love is one of the most profound forces that shapes who we are.
First, let me tell you this: Our love isn’t always perfect and it doesn’t mean we never disagree or face challenges. We both have different personalities with traits that are opposite in many instances. But what Danny and I share is something so much deeper—something rooted in our souls. It feels as though the deepest part of us knows that we were meant to be together in this lifetime, and neither of us can imagine it being any other way. This presents itself in our relationship as unconditional acceptance.
We accept each other completely, as we are. I’ve never felt like I had to be anything other than my true self with him, and I know he feels the same. That kind of acceptance creates a safe space, a sanctuary where love can grow and evolve without fear or judgment.
When I was diagnosed with cancer, Danny stood by me with unwavering strength. I know it wasn’t easy for him to watch me suffer, but he never once let fear overshadow his love for me. And during my near-death experience, when I realized how much love surrounds us and how much of it we fail to see, I came back with an even deeper appreciation for him. I saw so clearly that love is what connects us all, and Danny embodies that truth in my life.
Through the years, we’ve faced life’s highs and lows as a team. There were times we didn’t have all the answers or solutions, but we always had each other. We leaned into the unknown together, trusting that our love was enough to carry us through. And it always was.
Communication has been another cornerstone of our relationship. Danny and I don’t just talk to each other; we truly listen. Even when we don’t see eye to eye, we make the effort to understand where the other is coming from. It’s not about winning an argument—it’s about nurturing the connection we’ve spent nearly three decades building.
But more than anything, what keeps us together is the way we love—freely, without conditions or expectations. We don’t try to control or change each other. Instead, we celebrate the freedom to grow as individuals while staying connected as partners. We see our love as expansive, not confining. It’s not something that binds us; it’s something that sets us free.
Danny has also been my biggest supporter, especially in my spiritual work. He’s stood by me as I’ve shared my journey with the world, even when it meant stepping out of his comfort zone. His belief in me, in my mission, has been a gift that I cherish deeply.
Before my near death experience, I didn’t love or value myself, and as a result, I believed I had to work really hard at being worthy of the amount of love Danny felt for me. I would bend myself out of shape to do what I thought would make him happy. And I would still often feel I fell short, as I wasn’t getting the approval I was looking for. It felt like my efforts were not being appreciated. It took dying for me to truly love myself and see the value in myself! And in that space of self-worth, I realized that Danny didn’t want me to be anything or anyone but my true authentic self! That was more than enough for him! So not only did I no longer need his approval to be myself; it also became easier to not judge him for being his authentic self even when I didn’t always agree.
As I reflect on our journey together, I’m reminded of the power of presence. Love grows when we show up for each other, fully and authentically. It flourishes when we express gratitude for the small, everyday moments and when we make each other feel seen, heard, and valued.
To those of you reading this, whether you’re in a relationship or searching for love, know that unconditional love begins with yourself. The more you embrace who you are, the more you’ll attract people who do the same. Love isn’t about perfection; it’s about connection, understanding, and celebrating the beautiful, messy, miraculous journey of life—together.
Much love,
Anita
